About

In early 2019, I landed in an inevitable stage of a woman’s life I knew nothing about: perimenopause - the years leading up to my periods coming to an end.

My symptoms included: insomnia, physiological anxiety, faintness, a low (no) mood, nausea, panic attacks, achy hip joints, itchy/crawly skin, a metallic taste in my mouth, dry eyes and irregular periods. I was randomly tearful, I lost my appetite and felt relentlessly tired. To find out more, you can read my personal essay published by Radio New Zealand for World Menopause Day 2020.

As I talked to various friends, family, colleagues, doctors and other health practitioners, I realised how little I knew about the hormonal changes and symptoms I could expect at my age (then 46).

It turned out, I wasn’t the only one. Many of my friends didn’t know much about menopause either. Not feeling like my usual happy-and-healthy self was a worrying, confusing and sometimes lonely experience.

I was lucky to have had the care and support of my partner, friends, family, GP and menopause specialist. After three months of going down rabbit holes looking for answers, it became clear that fluctuating hormones were at play. After finding a number of solutions - and over the days, weeks and months that followed - I was relieved to feel well again.

I then thought how much better it would be if the subject of menopause wasn’t so taboo; if people went into this stage of life feeling informed, understood, supported and empowered from the start.

Inspired by deathoverdinner.org and jeffersondinner.org, I invited eight friends and family of different generations for dinner and called it Menopause Over Martinis*. We talked and laughed and learnt so much. Without an agenda, we covered a lot of ground: the little-known facts; surprising realities; various symptoms and solutions; and the many upsides of life after menopause too.

Other friends started asking when I was going to host the next dinner. I hadn’t planned on that! I have now hosted three, and been a guest at two. It seems that when people are given permission to talk about menopause, many have a lot to say! In October 2020, I launched this website to make it easy for others to host their own events. Since May 2021, as a guest speaker and advocate, I’ve facilitated conversations about menopause in workplaces so that more people feel informed and supported. In July 2021, Menopause Over Martinis* made its debut as a community event in my neighbourhood - Hataitai, Wellington.

* Martinis obviously optional. I rarely drink alcohol and respect that many people choose not to. The idea of a martini (or mocktail) over dinner sounded more celebratory than a cup of tea, the ‘m’ of martini was necessary for alliteration, and I’ve always liked the shape of the glasses.

Whatever kind of event you decide to host, I hope it’s empowering, enriching and fun.

Sarah Connor
Guest speaker, writer, advocate and founder of Menopause Over Martinis*
sarahconnor.co.nz

Thank you

To everyone who attended my first few menopause dinners. Thank you for sharing your questions, stories, knowledge and feedback.

To everyone who asked ‘When are you having the next dinner and can I come?’. And to everyone who said, ‘The world needs this. You have to make it a thing.’

To my family who continues to give up their share of our kitchen, living room and dining table so I can host dinners for friends, family, colleagues and sometimes relative strangers.

To Jenny Adams at Winning Communications who generously, confidently and patiently made my vision for this website a reality. To photographer Nicola Edmonds who kindly donated her time and talents to take some of the photos on the Home page at the last minute. And to Hannah Schickedanz for gifting me a logo, without a brief and out of the blue!